The guilt killer: How I stopped feeling bad about what I don't do

I used to feel guilty about everything I wasn't doing.

Books I never read. Not spending more time with friends. With family. Multiple to-do lists full of things I "should" be doing. The guilt would just sit there, making me feel like I was constantly failing.

Last year I tried something different. I was sitting at my desk, overwhelmed by everything I wasn't doing, and I asked myself a simple question: what if I had to choose?

I imagined my time as 100 hours a week. Not the actual 168 hours—just the ones where I'm awake and have energy to do things. And I had to decide where they go.

Work gets 50. Family gets 20. Gym gets 5. Piano gets 2.

That's 77 hours. Whatever's left goes to everything else—cooking, errands, rest, random things that come up.

And suddenly I was fine with that. Because I chose it. I made the decision consciously instead of letting it happen by default.

I didn't forget about piano. I didn't fail at prioritizing. I actively decided it gets two hours max per week, not more.

Now when someone asks "Don't you want to play better?" I say yes—but not more than I want these other things. Work matters more. Family matters more. Even the gym matters more right now.

The guilt disappeared once I realized it was never about not doing enough. It was about not deciding. I was letting everything float around as an obligation without actually choosing what mattered.

Once I made the choice explicit, the guilt had nothing to attach to.